America Hates Weird Foods

First dates… they’re awkward…

Once you’ve hit all the easy subjects: favorite movie, favorite music, politics… you kind of run out of things to say.

Thankfully, the folks at “the Takeout,” with the assistance of Hater, have you covered: what food do you like the least?

Hater is a dating app that pairs people not on their likes but on their dislikes. And for least favorite foods, they have some amazing data. Usually, this kind of “each state’s favorite _______” list is annoying. But this one is simply phenomenal. Here are some observations from the best map of all time.

1) Florida Gets it Right for Once

Licorice is gross. Sorry. It just is. Especially black licorice: it’s the worst scented marker, and it’s the worst candy.

So for Florida to identify licorice as its least favorite food… Gotta say, this is the biggest win for the state of Florida since Gatorade or Tim Tebow. Chomp, chomp, chomp! Just not on licorice!

2) Michigan Gets it Oh… So… Wrong…

Pizza is great. It’s the best thing in the world. It’s the greatest food that’s ever been existed. Deep dish, thin crust, frozen. Dominos, Papa John’s, Pizza Hut, Little Caesar’s… it’s all good (except for maybe Little Caesar’s!)

Maybe it makes sense, then, that the homeland of Little Caesar’s hates cold pizza. That’s just inherently wrong. Is cold pizza as awesome as hot pizza? No, probably not. But is it better than every other food? Absolutely. It’s also the only acceptable pizza to eat at breakfast (breakfast “pizza” is a fallacy).

Come on, Michigan. Get your act together.

3) Washington State is Its Own Stereotype

Come on, Washington! You make it too easy sometimes!

It’s no secret that Washington is one of the most progressive states in the union. But their collective hatred of K-Cups, a non-green coffeemaker, is comedically amazing.

Then again, maybe they just hate Keurig because it’s a competitor to Starbucks. But we doubt it.

4) What’s Going On There, Alaska / Hawaii?

Okay, so, Voss Water is a real specific choice, right? Did one guy with a bone to pick fill out a Hater profile in the state of Alaska? And was the bone he had to pick weirdly with Voss water?

Voss is a high-end Norwegian bottled water that is now headquartered in New York and owned by a Thai-Chinese company. It’s a bit snooty to be sure, but to hate it? Very strange.

The only thing stranger than that is that Hawaii hates Coke most of all! First of all, in both cases, that’s a criminally loose definition of “food.” But in Hawaii’s case, that’s just an awfully bizarre grudge. America’s most popular soft drink is your least popular anything? Strange.

5) Bye-Bye California

Y’all hate Chic-fil-a? Ain’t nobody got time for that.